...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
