Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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