I just cut my nipple shaving
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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