found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
