its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
