I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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