You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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