Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
