My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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