Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
