get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
