Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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