before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
