dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
