I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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