Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
