Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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