Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
