I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
