Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
