I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
