Already got asked if we're dating
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Still dying that you shit outside
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
