i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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