Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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