i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Two words: blizzard sex
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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