I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
