i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
