you would pick up someone in the library
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
