This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
