Screwed.edu
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize