note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
