I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
