Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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