It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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