apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
