also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
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