I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize
