I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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