no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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