brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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