Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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