Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
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