you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
