I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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