Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
