Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
