That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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