just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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