my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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