It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
