is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Randomize
