take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
