He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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