Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
