its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We have started to decorate penises.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
