Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
