I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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