I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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