hotel room ftw
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
