Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
