Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
