Whod you bang
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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