It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
