I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
