Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
