Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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