that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
It's just like the Real World with babies
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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