OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Randomize
