Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Just invented taco cereal.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Boobs speak an international language.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
