This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I'm at about main and main street
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
